La Coppola

La Coppola

Website
86 Regent St
Leamington Spa
CV32 4NS
01926 888873

 
As Performed by The Awesome Foursome, The Pole, Chief Sitting Bull, Daddy’s Boy, The Little Chef and Mrs. Jockey.  

          As you can see from the picture, this place looks like a garden centre and as Daddy’s Boy is the only one of us to have been here before, all the rest of us drove straight past it whilst attempting to locate it.  The botanical theme continued throughout the restaurant and every wall had something growing on it, there were some very nice murals on the walls and even the famous picture from the Sistine chapel was on the ceiling.  Directly above our table however was an older lady with a cracking pair, both of which were fully on display. 
          Regardless of whether they were able to find it or not, everyone but The Captain and The Pole was late, and it was only The Captain and The Pole who stuck to the Formal-Casual dress code.  The rest of the group looked like shit and the, clearly stressed maitre’d, didn’t approve.  The Jockey did a truly awful job of introducing his new Mrs to The Captain, for some strange reason, its almost as if hes scared that she will leave him and jump on the man with the bigger cock.  She didn’t have too much difficulty working out who was who in the end, The Pole was easy and Chief Sitting Bull was simple to work out; strange how our most racist names are clearly the most recognisable.
          We like to go out of our comfort zones and it was definitely not the place for a group of mates to go for a hangover cure with a lot of banter; however we don’t care and we just crack on.  There were plenty of staff around and although we weren’t too sure what they were running around doing, they did seem to know their stuff.  They did have a keen interest in the MNEC notebook and were definitely watching attentively as The Captain poured his heart and soul into the paper. 
          The Little Chef did appreciate the huge olives that were served to us on ice with our drinks, very nice touch and they were apparently on the house.  However while we sat and waited for them to take our order we couldn’t work out what they were waiting for, we arrived in dribs and drabs but everyone seemed to sit there for 10 minutes before getting a drink, and then once we were all there nothing was done for at least half an hour.  Some of us did still have our menus open but most of us didn’t, and either way 30 minutes is always enough time for people to read a small menu.  We don’t like waiting or having to ask for things that should already be being done, we regularly sit there after eating and nobody seems to realise that we want the bill; it is their job to ask us what we require, and not our responsibility to be getting up and telling them.  Anyway, rant over. 
          The waiter did come over eventually and of course he said ladies first, Chick was straight in there saying “after you little chef!”, he was pleased to get that one in, and to be honest hes probably pleased to get anything in these days.  Once the order had been taken we immediately got to the topics that were on everyones minds; last night: what happened? where was everyone? what ridiculous things happened?  The general consensus was that The Captain, The Chief and The Happy Sailor were all absolutely smashed; evidence was abound- Chief Sitting Bull was walking round with The Little Chef telling random girls that he was the chief.  The Captain had to leave Fever at about 2am because he was more than ready for bed, this is after attempting to get into Lloyd’s with Daddy’s Boy using their MNEC cards.  And The Happy Sailor was walking around with his McDonald’s looking for anyone heading to Daventry, unfortunately there was no availability and he ended up going on a lovely tour of rugby before having to tell the driver to go to dav and footing the entire bill himself. 

← Prawn and Crab Salad at £7.95 was presented well and despite having the obvious disadvantage of being a salad, was rather heavy on the meat which we liked. 

→  La Coppola Pate looked good but a bit boring, and once painted onto the bread it looked like Chick was eating a big black cock. 

←  Fish Soup was a medley of all things from the sea and The Jockey could safely say: “that was the best soup I have ever had”. 

→  Trio bruschetta pleased The Pole for £4.95, something not easily done outside of a brothel. 

←  Garlic Pizza Bread for Mrs. Jockey, it was very nice but she was about to let them take it away with two slices still on the plate; obviously we didn’t allow this and The Merchant was quick to clean up her mess. 

→  Calamari were absolutely rubbery, very nicely cooked and served, and not chewy as is often the case. 

←  Mozzarella Coppola was expensive at £6.95 and not very impressive, its only cheese but they could have done more with it. 

→  And by far the best of the rest, Tuna Tartare which was finished at the table by one of our well educated servers.  Daddy’s Boy declared that he had a full chubby the entire way through the tuna being done, and it is no surprise that there were no less than 9 solid erections underneath our table. 

          The Little Chef has stepped up to his role of social media expert well, we now have our facebook all running and twitter and email- which we apparently need for when girls want to send us their underwear etc.  He has been monitoring the statistics of our viewers and has even worked out that we have a hermaphrodite viewer somehow. He has also been one of the lucky ones to get a tshirt to give to The Merchant for printing, this will also be improved now that he has acquired a shirt press. 
          Daddy’s Boy earned some brownie points this week when he spotted Voldemort in the co-op, of course he immediately erected the voldemort warning signal above his head and proceeded to carry on down the aisle with his shopping whilst simultaneously letting everyone know that she was there.  And whilst on the subject of ex girlfriends, Chick’s Future Wife was out this week as she usually is on bank holidays and she was joined by D.I. Sheridan, unfortunately apart from saying hello we didn’t really get to see them and therefore couldn’t take the piss out of Chick as much as we had hoped. 
          We did have to stop talking at this point because apart from The Chief who was busy on his phone, all eyes were on the pair of leggings that just walked past our table, according to Chick they were almost 4D, you could almost taste the crab paste.  Once we had all got our juices flowing we decided to discuss what had happened with the single people present last night.   Chicken did actually have great success with women this week, 200% strike rate will keep his wank bank topped up for a couple of days.  The Little Chef did sow the seed of love for next time with his little number in the red dress but didn’t achieve anything this time. And as he didn’t taste the harbour last night he has ordered seafood tonight to make up for it. 
          After talking to the waiter, we were expecting 5 Kilos of Parmesan to be served with our mains, but alas we were let down and instead they looked like this:

←  Calzone looked incredible and was a bargain at £8.95. 

→  Suprema di Pollo Principessa was a bit saucy and lacking substance but the flavour was lovely. 

←  Classic Spag Bol for The Pole was amazing, a healthy amount of cheese was added to improve it further, big portion as well. 

→  Tagliolini con Granchio of course looked good if a bit small, nice textures. 

←  We all know who had the Fillet steak, and it did look excellent, very cheffy and well presented; the copper pot of Bearnaise sauce was a lovely touch.  

→  Seafood Risotto was lovely and had big chunks of prawn and scallop in, it did bring a smile to The Little Chef‘s face when it was served. 

←  Chicken in red sauce? probably pretty good but we have no information. 

→  Chicken in yellow sauce? probably really good, it looks alright on this picture, and that’s all I’ve got to go on. 

← Risotto Coppola with some tender pieces of steak, absolutely fantastic but looked like a small portion, however it was pretty heavy and in the end The Captain barely finished it. 

          Once the food had been served (a process that was very difficult because the waiters only said the Italian names of the food and weren’t particularly helpful, they didn’t pander to the fact that none of us could remember what we had ordered), we were already contemplating putting this in our top 5, even if we do end up paying slightly more than usual it looks like it’s worth it.  The service hasn’t been as good as some places, but the food has easily been in the top 3, most of us agreeing that it is the best food we have ever had on MNEC. 
          Delboy was out this Saturday for a wedding that many of the BAGELs were at, and was on his usual top form necking jagerbombs with the amateur youth of today.  The Huntsman was also there but this time wasn’t getting annihilated with the neighbours, we shall save that for Florida. 
          The Merchant has been working this lunchtime by going to The Royal Oak again to see if they were still up to their high standards and is pleased to report that there is still a great meal to be had there.  Always working, even on his days off.  The Bacon Potatoes did also remind us of Cafe Gnosh, another place that we need to go back to, difficult as they don’t open Mondays though.  The Chief has been off bread for 6 weeks and tonight finally broke his fast with some pizza bread, he has since been eating non-stop bread in order to pile the pounds back on. 
          The Toilets this time were sampled by The Pole and Mrs. Jockey, The Pole was happy with them but we did half expect a freshen up man; Mrs. Jockey rated them as 7/10, it was nice to have a female perspective; however women will never understand urinal ettiquette, as we discussed its something every man just knows. 
          An excellent night was had by all and we will definitely back, in the end we have decided that La Coppola is going in at number 2 on our top 5.  The food was top notch and the decoration was the best we have seen; service wasn’t on par though, and we had to wait 20 minutes for them to work out the bill after we had asked for it.  Things were good, and we are looking forward to eating more next time we visit.  Happy anniversary to Monday Night Eating Club, 52 weeks of fun, plenty more to come. 

Server: Avoid  An all male staff didn’t please us, no sex to be had with them.

★★★★½

The Greyhound Inn

Market Street
Lutterworth
Leicestershire
LE17 4EJ
01455 553307
Website

 As Performed by The Captain, The Merchant, The Adulterer, The Pole and The Chief.  

          This week we find ourselves on another Tuesday night eating club, this is again because everyone was busy and there was no way we could manage to meat up.  Once we had arranged that, whether or not some of us went on dates on Monday is irrelevant.
          You may notice again that Chicken is not with us, this is because he was with the Mercedes F1 team all night, they were working on aerodynamics and with a head as streamlined as his hes got a lot to teach them.  Other than that we are told that he has spent most of the week with his long term girlfriend Pamela Handerson, they have really been getting to know each other intimately.
          We tried to go to The Haywagon at Churchover, this was unsuccessful though for two reasons: they didn’t answer the phone all afternoon to take a reservation, and secondly when we did turn up on a bit of a gamble, they told us that they were only doing food from the board which was not Italian (as the normal menu is) and wasn’t up to our standards.  This led us to search locally for somewhere and we found ourselves at The Greyhound on the main road in Lutterworth.  When we arrived it looked busy and nice, outside Lutterworth was like a ghost town.  Despite the lady on the bar clearly not wanting us to, we sat in the restaurant which was nearly empty apart from a few contractors who looked like they were staying in one of the rooms.  After leading us through, we were met by our server and The Chief immediately informed us that “She would get it”, we conferred but we all knew that he was correct.
          We talked about her round boobs, and we realised that we all appreciate perfectly spherical breasts.  We could also tell that we were distracting her, obviously the presence of five testosterone fuelled men were affecting her in a very sexual way.  It became apparent that she was too horny to concentrate when we got abandoned later in the night, but who can blame her. 
          The Little Chef wasn’t present, however he did deliver his own review of the location that he was dining down in Newquay, the highlights:

• Comfy chairs
• Too many staff which meant he could stare at them and choose which order he would jizz on their tits.  
• Best T-Boner Steak ever, cooked blue, served with too much green shat though.  
• Cheap meal as well.  

Meanwhile, back in Lutterworth:

 ←Whitebait were excellent, used paprika in the batter which made it much more interesting than the usual bland fishy taste.
→Poached mushrooms with Stilton looked brilliant and tasted as good.
 ↓Chicken Liver Pate was served nicely and had everything that we could want.  

←Scallops were just barely cooked, others may have sent them back but The Captain is quite proud of his iron stomach that can cope with anything. 
→Soup of the day was vegetable, almost hotter than the sun, The Merchant dealt with this by filling it with bread as you can see, apparently very absorbant. 

          The starters were pretty good but we still had time to talk: The Merchant announced that his relationship was flourishing as has been on yet another date with his girlfriend, the late night screening at rugby cinema was quiet, dark and put to good use.  The Captain also told the story of how he took Awesome on a date, apparently they went to pleasuretown. 
           The Chief confirmed what we already knew, that he has awful taste in music, he complimented them on the JLS which we  all know is absolute dogshit- the same goes for any of that crap that comes out of TV shows; most of us are passionate music lovers and disagree with that pile of wank that comes from the TV.  The locals may have been able to tell that he has no taste or maybe it was something else, but they were definitely glaring at Chief Sitting Bull for a lot of the night.  The Merchant used this interval to check out the facilities; his review was much more comprehensive than Chick‘s usually is: Confusing entrance where you think its a unisex toilet, after you figure that out there is a clean well designed male bathroom, mirror above the sink and then full length mirror when you turn around- he was in there for a quite a while checking himself out (I hope thats what he was doing). 
          What followed looked like this:

 ←Steak and Ale Pie satisfied The Merchant, not enough steak in there though. 
 →Grilled Chicken breast kept The Chief quiet for 5 minutes. 

←Grilled Salmon steak looked good, excellent size and suited The Adulterer well as we all know he loves a mouthful of fish. 
→Gammon for both The Captain and The Pole (not enough choice on the menu), a grease fest but still good. 

          We were left dreaming of dessert, as was evident by The Chief‘s drooling face, which is not a good sign- when we have finished our meal we don’t want to be hungry still.  They had a dessert board on offer but we are not dessert people and so it would have to be truly excellent to be sampled by us (or included as it was last week at The Huntsman).  And also the fact that we were just left to sort ourselves out for a good 25 minutes was a bit rubbish, we don’t take anything like that to finish our meals and so we had to wait longer for the bill.
          Overall it was not a great experience, pretty cheap at £18 per person though so you cant grumble too much.  We would go back if we were in Lutterworth with no other option but hopefully that doesn’t happen too soon.
          This week we shall be celebrating Wales’ Best Drinker‘s Birthday and so this may result in a fair few hangovers, no doubt we will take things too far as per usual, but that seems to happen at The Joneses every time so we wont worry. 

Server: Shag Definitely not the brightest or a hard worker, but who cares about that?

Date Club

Monday Date Club

London,
England

 

As Performed by The Captain, The Little Chef, The Happy Couple, Awesome and Sexy.  

          This monday we went to London for the day; it was officially in aid of The Captain‘s birthday which is always a weeklong celebration of his life, but really it was an excuse to go on a triple date and drink.  We met up early in the morning at The Joneses and headed for London Euston on the train.  Obviously as some of the group had never had the blog experience before they were a little interested in the official notebook, The Favourite even critisiced The Captain‘s handwriting which is totally out of order, but it is probably a good job that this is typed up and not written by hand.  

          For most of the journey Awesome was either sorting out her wig or rummaging thorugh her tits, however there were no complaints from the group as we are all quite used to her antics- it did look like she needed help though but we will get to that later.  The Little Chef spoke about his favourite bucket, the rest of the group thought that this was a bit inappropriate as she was right there with us but clearly he doesn’t have any worries about insulting her.  We pulled up in euston and headed straight for the underground, Camden was our destination.  

          We walked around the market for a bit and then headed Camden Lock Market where they do the food stalls, some very interesting stuff on offer: between us we sampled Pakistani Kebab, Turkish Kebab and Polish sausage- all very good and the most we payed was a fiver for a large kebab wrap.  By the end of it though we were getting tired of being hassled by the Asians, the Chinese food places were shouting “hello darling” at us whilst shoving meat in our direction, no one appreciated it apart from The Little Chef who seemed used to it.  

          We then started with our first alcoholic beverage of the day, this was at Lockside Lounge which is a lovely place overlooking the Lock Market, in the sun and with freinds it was good to be there.  From then we explored a bit more before succumbing to the thirst for more alcohol that can affect us as a group.  Next up was The Oxford Arms on Camden High street, a nice enough place that looked like it gets busy at the weekend.  Here we watched a lovely argument between some staff in which one was told to fuck off, sounds familiar to most of us.  We also realised at this point that it was the olympic parade today and so we had to change our plans so as to avoid leciester square which looked hectic on the TV.

          Instead we opted for Covent Garden so we set off on the tube; at covent garden station there are lifts and not escalators which is not common on the underground; however we chose to go for the stairs- all 193 of them and we came out on top looking absolutely ruined- and thats not a joke about Awesome we will get to her later. 

           So after browsing the amusements and stalls breifly we headed to the lovely looking balcony above the market place in The Punch and Judy.  After we reluctantly climbed even more stairs to get up there it wasnt too busy so we got the drinks in.  Perfect location and a good atmosphere made it a very nice place to be; excellent music throughout our visit was noticed as well.  They have some large TV’s showing the Parade live which was good and we watched as the Red Arrows appeaed on screen first and then live directly above our heads.  Amazing expereince and we all felt very patriotic and were cheering with the crowd, Wales’ Best Drinker described it as a ruddy good show.  One negative of this place was according to The Favourite “The worst toilets I have ever been in”, after Awesome experienced it as well we commisioned this artist sketch of her pissing:

          We spoke about other times when we have drank, as you do when you are drinking, and The Little Chef declared that he was manning up on the drinking, despite coming out on saturday night and chucking his guts up on The Captain‘s tshirt in between nightclubs.  He thinks he knows what he is doing but lets just watch the rest of the day unfold.  We were having a good time so we decided to stay for another, well The Happy Couple and The Happier Couple had another- seasoned proffesional drinkers unlike Sexy and The Little Chef. 

          Next up it was cocktails at Navajo Joe which is a lovely place just off Covent garden, on our walk towards leicester square station, by this time Awesome was getting a bit lairy and was becoming very chatty to people who werent expecting it- especially one Kevin Garcia who happened to be the lucky man to serve us at Navajo’s.  He was great fun and made us stay for one more than we should have, he gets maximum points for giving us free shots before we left: free alcohol is as good as sex to The Captain and so gets rewarded equally- a few coins thrown at you as he leaves.  Massive candles that look like they have taken years to build up and an impressive wall of spirits made the place look fantastic, we also got the impression that they do decent food here as well.  Best name for a cocktail ever goes to ‘Rumdog Millionaire’.

          After this we stopped at a proper English pub, The Salisbury was rammed so we sat outside and had a bit of a laugh being quite tipsy at 5 oclock on a  monday in central London!  This also presented The Captain with the opportunity to use his skills of theft and nick a big fingers crossed hand from somebody who had obviously been to the Parade, The Favourite put it to excellent use later whilst helping him make some truly brilliant inuendos about Awesome. 

          Unfortunately this was the end of our sixsome date and so we headed home on the packed 1815 train from Euston which was never going to be fun.  We just about crammed in (not a joke, we will get to Awesome later) and cracked open the worlds most expensive cans of lager for the journey.  After much laughter and what must have been an awful ride for the sober passengers surrounding us we eventually got home to Rugby, with minutes to spare we boarded a taxi and headed to La Casa Loco for Monday Night Eating Club…….